Park-ed not in the City
With 20 days left to graduation, my mind was spinning, nay, hurtling at lighting speed to the future. And let me tell you, that future was glorious. Brighter than the ball that drops on New Years Eve kind of spectacular. If you asked me what it would look like I'd probably tell you that in two years time I'd be working in a big, swanky city at a bigger, and swankier Ad Firm doing the biggest and swankiest kind of work. Some place that sounded impressive. The kind of place people would know, when I would say "Oh, yes, that commercial everyone loved, yes that was me," and they'd look all impressed and think, "wow she's got her sh*t together." I'd beam with pride, then they'd glossily nod their head approvingly and walk over to grab another hors d'oeuvre from the tray. And I would be relieved. I would be relieved that I had amounted to all the things I thought I 'should' be and met the invisible requirements of the expectations set out for me.
WHAT. A. GLORIOUS. BRIGHT. SPECTACULAR. LOAD. OF. CRAP.
Needless to say, the future did not go according to my plan. In fact it went so off the map that I don't even recognize the person who wanted those things, who just creeps out sometimes and tells me what I'm doing now is sub-par or makes me 'less than.' I quickly shut her up along with those dusty aspirations and hope I never again fall into the trap of wanting something just because I think it sounds good to someone else (whether they've actually said anything, or not).
I just can't live like that anymore. So I've moved, or parked if you will, in a little, tiny town tucked in the mountains of Utah. Ironically this little, tiny town is in fact also a city in it's own right. If you've been following my obnoxious Insta stories you will know the place I'm referring to is Park City, UT.
And you should know I do not have a glamorous job. I am working at a daycare on the mountain for 6 months. I work 4 days a week, get a free Epic pass and get put on the "babysitters" call sheet for guests of the resort. It is not a career-building-stepping-stone-magic-internship. It's a job that will let me grant a wish to myself at 8-years-old. It's a job that I hope helps me achieve both mental and physical obstacles. It's a job and that's all.
So I am not in a big, swanky city right now. Maybe one day. Maybe in 6 months, maybe 6 years. But when I move there it will be because I want to and I like the opportunities available at that time not because it sounds good at parties.